Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Planet of the Ayps

Descended from chimps recruited to test spaceships, Ayps have an intense hatred of the Human race. They have renamed themselves Ayps to cast off the names mankind has given them (i.e. Apes, Chimps, etc.). Ironically, they still call themselves by family names given to them by their former Human "opressors". Names like Coco, Ham, Bonzo are all very common and popular, perhaps because Chimps have no previous naming traditions of their own. Ayps call their new homeworld "Bandar Log" and are ruled by His Emperial Majesty, Emperor Zippy I, Ruler of Bandar Log and Protector of Charlie". Charlie is the name of Bandar Log's only moon.

The absolute worst thing you can say in the presence of Ayps is "Monkey". In ANY context this will start a riot.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Something fishy

Beneath the frozen surface of Europa, moon of Jupiter, lies a planetwide ocean of incomprehensible depth. In the murky darkness beneath the crust of ice floes live the Sirenians. The sirenians are best left undisturbed. After all, they're attracted to light and movement and they are at the TOP of their world's food chain.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Ah the Little Green Men. Look at that smug look of self-satisfaction. The Superior way he holds that death-ray. you can just see it in his beady little eyes, how much he wants to come to Earth and take our women. LGM's are not, in fact from Mars (See previous posting re: Spiders from Mars) but rather from Titan, moon of Saturn. They hate it when people mistake them for Martians(indigenous, or otherwise). They avoid visiting Mars altogether, largely due to the fact that it's populated by those yucky spider-people and a bunch of dull, inbred Terra-Farmers. LGM's don't get along with anyone, but they desperately wish to be invited to all the cool parties. ESPECIALLY the ones on Venus. Little Green Men are NOT from Mars, but Statuesque, sultry women ARE from Venus.

Chariots of the gods.

I'm reading 2001 right now, and it puts me in mind of all those theories about the "Ancient Astronauts" who may have visited Earth when Mankind was young. To that end, I present you with the Ancient Astronaut! Who knows what cosmic secrets are bouncing around in that huge noggin of his? Who knows what inscrutible thoughts lie behind that great stone face? Who knew flying saucers had so much headroom?

But where WERE the spiders??

Okay, so I ripped off another Bowie song/album. The name "Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars" was just too good to pass up. So HERE are the spiders.

The Planet Mars was recently made habitable to Human life by a planet-wide terra-forming effort. This yielded two results: 1. Earthmen can inhabit Mars and 2. the Spider-people who had long lain dormant in their buried egg-sacs hatched and immediately began attacking the Nova-Martian settlers. In fact, most of the Earthian-Martian populace still mourns the now infamous "Last stand at Fort Wells" and the "Battle of Big Face". Things have improved in recent months since the construction of the new, walled city outside Fort John Carter.

Major Tom

For a little while, I'm going to limit this page to sketches. Right now, I'm in a retro, sci-fi frame of mind. I have been entranced for years by the eerie beauty of the David Bowie song "Major Tom- a space oddity" ( I think that's the right title) as well as the Weird, uber-creepy Peter Schilling version of Major Tom and, of course, Bowie's "Ashes to ashes". I am perfectly aware that Major Tom is a fairly conventional astronaut and not a space-opera hero, but I always sort of see him as a Flash Gordon/Buck Rogers kinda guy. To that end, I did the following sketch of Major Tom... obvioulsy this happened before he burned up on re-entry, or drifted off into the Void or O.D.'ed or whatever. Enjoy.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Sasquatch redux.

I never felt that the previous Sasquatch piece really sold what was going on. So I abandoned subtlety in favor of laughs.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Iron Man

This is what Iron Man is SUPPOSED to look like!

Monday, April 6, 2009


One of the most memorable- and dumbest looking -creatures from Star Trek. They just don't make 'em like this any more