Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Boredom does terrible things.

To preface this, I've been all about Indiana Jones lately. I'm jonesin' for Indiana Jones. I can't wait until May to see the new one. So, yesterday at work I had the following conversation with a friend and co-worker:

Me: I used to want to be an archeologist.
Me: Then I really thought about what they do. Too much squatting and digging.Not enough Nazi-punching.
Me: And despite my hours of practice, not really a lot of need for a bullwhip.
Jesse P Hill: ha ha
Jesse P Hill: yeah the archaeology isn't QUITE so cool
Jesse P Hill: unfortunately there's not many occupations that involve consistent fights with members of the nazi party.
Me: Yeah. *sigh*
Jesse P Hill: i know
Jesse P Hill: sucks dude
Jesse P Hill: i miss the old days.
Jesse P Hill: you know.
Jesse P Hill: WWII.
Me: Well, there's always the American Nazi Party. I could start a fight with them. I don;t think they're trying to steal any cool, occult artifacts... but then I don't actually KNOW that.
Jesse P Hill: that's true...
Jesse P Hill: but yeah
Jesse P Hill: i think they've kind of lost that whole magic edge that the SS used to have
Jesse P Hill: and now theyre just redneck morons without the benefit of ritual knives and german accents
Me: True.
Me: I wonder if there's a local branch of the Thugee cult...

Jesse P Hill: ha ha
Jesse P Hill: or any money-hungry counter-archaeologists who want to take your findings and sell them to private collectors...
Jesse P Hill: hmmm.
Me: Hmmm...
Me: Perhaps I could find an arch-nemesis at the Ohio Historical society. We could do battle over arrowheads and potshards.
Jesse P Hill: yeah. you could be like an indiana jones. who sucks.
Me : Ha!
Jesse P Hill: too bad the spear of destiny was already found
Jesse P Hill: you TOTALLY coulda found that.
Me: Yeah. 3 or 4 of them
Jesse P Hill: ha
Jesse P Hill: really?
Jesse P Hill: guess that makes sense
Jesse P Hill: i wanted to do a story of the relic thiefs from back in the day
Me :I had an idea for a story i never did anything with. back at the turn of the previous century, dinosaur hunting was super-competitive. I pictured rival paleantologists fighting over a T-rex skeleton. It would have involved a train chase, etc.
Jesse P Hill: naturally
Jesse P Hill: can't have a turn-of-the-century action story w/o a train chase.
Me: Of course not.
Jesse P Hill: unless you were a communist.
Me: I could fight Commies!
Jesse P Hill: oh yeah!
Jesse P Hill: you totally could
Me: There have to be plenty down on campus.
Jesse P Hill: HA HA!
Jesse P Hill: there totally are
Jesse P Hill: PLENTY
Jesse P Hill: but i dont think theyre the kind that, you know, know anything about anything.
Jesse P Hill: they just listen to ani defranco and get high.
Me: Yeah. my enemies list is looking pretty pathetic.
Me: Can you carry a bullwhip in Cols. City limits?
Jesse P Hill: pretty sure you can.
Me: I have a revolver, but you can't take it inside anywhere...
Jesse P Hill: yeah but you can walk around outside with it.
Jesse P Hill: i think
Me: You know, all those stickers on the doors telling you not to.
Jesse P Hill: oh those aren't meant to be taken literally.
Jesse P Hill: that's more of a "leave your metaphorical gun outside"

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